Quit lobbing turds outa the window

There’s so much in the news this week that could have caught my eye. Hurricanes, Brexit, JRM-gate…

But what did I fixate on?

Yep – that woman in Bristol who threw her droppings out of a bathroom window.

You must have read about it?

No? Well, she was on a Tinder date. About to get down and dirty with this bloke, back at his place. And nipped out to the lavvy first, to quietly pinch a loaf.

But it wouldn’t flush.


What to do? Well obviously – fish it out, grab a carrier bag and lob it out the window. Natch.

Except…it got stuck. Between two non-opening windows.


No worries. She’s an amateur gymnast, so she wriggled through the window. Tried to reach it…and got wedged in. No way forward or back.

The Fire Brigade had to prise her out. But they kept stopping, because they were laughing too hard.

This is all true. I know it sounds like a scene they cut from “Trainspotting”, but it really happened. In 50 years, those fire fighters will be telling it to their grandkids – “Hey grandpa, tell us the Legend of the Tinder Turd again!”

Anyway…the moral is, don’t lob turds out the window.

When you screw up, ‘fess up!

I don’t make many mistakes these days, because I’m OCD over detail and triple-check everything. But if I do cock something up, I don’t hide it and hope the client won’t notice. I’ll bring it to their attention, along with a plan for putting it right – at my expense.

I hope you’re the same. It’s the right thing to do when you’re taking someone’s money.

But far too many will “hide the turd” and hope no-one will notice. It’s devious, and crazy too – because they’ll pay the price when their client sniffs it out. So to speak.

Suppliers who treat their clients this way deserve no second chances. No mercy, no “3 strikes and out”…just a straight dismissal.

After all, if Tinder’s faecal gymnast got no second date, why should a client or customer offer a second gig?

Summat to think on. We can all make mistakes – it’s what we do next that matters.

UK Copywriter James Daniel

James Daniel

You might not know who I am, but no doubt you've read my copy. If you've ever bought a hearing aid, a pizza oven, flat roof or vacuum cleaner. If you've hired a will writer, an IT guy or accountant. If you've been to events on marketing, acting or how to buy a business. There's every chance it started with a bit of my copy - a few simple, chatty, gently persuasive words. Ring any bells?

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