I’m loath to admit this. But… As an 8-year-old schoolboy, I briefly belonged to a Fart Club. Not a Fight Club. A Fart Club. I know, I’m as appalled as you are. But trust me, there was nothing else to do in Caerphilly back in the ’70s. The idea came from a school friend who, […]
Build Your Mailing List: a lesson from a 1970s Fart Club Read More »
I feel I know you well enough now to tell you about Maggie – The most evil ad sales rep ever to crawl the earth. You need to know about this woman. Because she’s a real-life lesson in the perils of buying ad space. Sitting comfortably…? Okay. I worked with Maggie in the 90s, on
500 years ago, they’d have burnt her alive Read More »
Imagine you’re walking past an ATM…and a handwritten note pops out of the cash slot. It’s a cry for help, from a guy trapped inside. Yep, it happened this week. In Texas. A workman was changing a lock on a door, at the back of the machine. He needed a swipecard to get out –
Copy lessons from inside a cash machine Read More »
30 years ago this month, I learned this vital lesson: We all have our natural talents…and some things, we’re just not meant to do. See, I was in a friend’s garden. A happy time. We’d just sat our final A Level exams, the guitar was out and the barbie was flaring. All good. Until Val,
“I bet you can’t walk on your hands!” Read More »
Hammy the Hamster hadn’t moved for 3 days. He just lay there, at the bottom of his cage. Not eating. Not drinking. Not working out on his little wheel. Nothing. He was totally still. But, he was breathing. Ever so slightly. His owner took him to the vet. And when she took him out of
How to Escape The Magnetic Hamster Trap Read More »
When was the last time you Googled your own name? It’s okay – I know you do it. You’re not the only one who’s vain and shallow, you know. My last time was 2013. And just between us, I laughed so hard I spat my cornflakes out. As they flew across the brekkie bar, I
As my cornflakes flew across the brekkie bar… Read More »
I’ve never done my family tree – but I’ve got a hunch, I’m part vampire. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t go out biting innocent virgins. (I live in the South Wales valleys – they’re pretty scarce in these parts). But I do have good reason for thinking Dracula was my granddad. First off, I
My Secret Vampire Heritage Read More »
I have to share this email with you, hot from the JD spambox. My reply is below. Big takeaway from this one. From: *********** | ************ [mailto:*******@**********.co.uk] Sent: Thursday, June 8, 2017 2:01 PM To: James Daniel james@jamesthecopywriter.co.uk Subject: Savings Available until 30 June Dear James, Up until the end of this month we’re offering
Sometimes, they just ask for it….. Read More »
Ever done something you’re not proud of? I don’t mean as a yoof. We all pulled girls’ pigtails and mocked the boy with the massive nose, didn’t we? I’m not proud of that stuff, but I was young so I forgive myself. (Plus they both beat the crap out of me, so my conscience is
I couldn’t scrub away the stain Read More »
“No I’m not doing that. Nobody does that.” There it is. The 8 daftest words I’ve ever heard from the mouth of an adult human. How? Well, this was a guy I knew back when I hung out at the local brekkie networks. (Desperate times. The people were nice. But not the kind of contacts you need,
Accidental Wisdom from the Mattress Guy Read More »